Ode To A One-Night Stand

[pomegranate]

I fell in love with the idea of you,
Born angry.
I fell in love with the idea of being lied to,
Of being an easy conquest,
Of being someone who was easy to take
Take hold of
Take advantage of.
So I let you.
The thing I can’t stand
The worry that keeps me up at night
Is that after everything-
Skin on skin
Teeth in flesh
Dirty mouths
And the clean smell of sweat
Is that you might find me boring
After all.
Even when I called you out.
Even when I named your fear.
Even when your calloused fingers
Sought out mine and we slept
For twenty silent minutes
Naked, unashamed, alone but pressed desperately together
In the rush of the after
But knowing we were lying.

Nothing good can come of this
But I am so tired of good.
And I am so tired of self-hate.
Let us be what we are —
Awful and broken
And fitted perfectly together in a few stolen moments of sleep.